Loosing hope

Growing up I always thought that I will never leave the country I was born in. I thought that everything is possible if you put your mind and effort into it. To a degree I was right, but I didn’t take into account how my surrounding will impact my life. Oh how naive I was…

Envy. I never really understood this word growing up and now it’s a feeling I cannot shake off of me. I read about people who have their dream jobs, I watch videos of people who travel all over the world, I see people pamper themselves and I no longer think “I will be able to do those things when I grow up”. I already grew up, yet i cannot afford anything. And I genuinely try my best to become someone.

I work hard and I work well, everyone around my agrees, I do not spend money, I haven’t had a vacation in almost two years, yet i have nothing to show for it. And it’s all because i was born here and now. The economy is terrible, employers all around the country refuse to pay decent wages to people and there’s nothing I can do about it. The breaking point has finally reached me. Although I never though i would leave this peace of land I walked on all my life, I see no other option.

Once again, nothing here is easy, even leaving. I’m not a social person, I never had much friend and I don’t have close relatives. But if i want to leave I need some help, yet there is no one who can help me. Well it doesn’t matter, I always find a way to survive alone, I’ll manage again! Right? Well this time it doesn’t seem like it. In order to move somewhere alone I need a decent sum of money, but the reason i want to leave is because i don’t have any and I have close to none chances to get any.

To all the people who are in a tough spot, we will all get past it. And to those who live without concerns, be thankful for all that you have and I envy you.

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