Recently I started pondering if I’m happy. This question doesn’t sound so difficult at first, but I honestly don’t know the answer to it. Every single day is filling my head to the brim with various emotions and it became frustrating for me to understand how I actually feel. And  I’m not talking about times when I’m overwhelmed or frustrated. For instance I have no idea how I feel right now and it’s the weekend, I have nothing important to do and I don’t know if I’m happy or not.

I realize the fact that recently my life has been at least a little bit hard and frustrating and that makes me feel angry, but I at least like to think that I cope with these emotions well enough to not be influenced by them. Yet another problem presented itself, I started feeling indifferent towards some aspects of my life. It became extremely hard to force myself to go to work when I don’t really care if I get fired. It’s a peculiar feeling. The only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is the fact that I feel ashamed in front of my significant other.

Maybe it’s normal to feel this way. Maybe it’s just a short term thing and everything will fall into places sooner rather than later. To be honest I don’t know where I’m going with this. I just felt the need to get this out of my system and writing all of this isn’t as hard as talking. On the of chance that You feel similar or felt like this before feel free to leave a comment, I would greatly appreciate it.


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